Day 4 - your favourite book. has it changed since your loss?
This could be a V-E-R-Y long post if I were to allow it but I'm supposed to be online grocery shopping so I shall attempt to edit myself. I'm interested by the fact that a lot of the stuff this "sort-of meme" is throwing up, I blogged about, back in the rawer days of my early grief. I blogged here about the fact that I missed reading immediately after Emma's death. I'm pleased to report that I have now rediscovered my inner bookworm. But, yes, my reading choices have changed since my loss. I remain an ardent Jane Austen fan but I'm not sure when I'll be able to read Emma again. I know that I couldn't watch the BBC serialisation of it last year. My daughter is not exactly named for the book but, when we struggling to come up with a girls name for a baby we were certain was a boy, Dave suggested Emma. He likes classic names and thought I might agree to it because of the Austen link. So, she's not named for the eponymous heroine but her name is a respectful nod in that direction.
I still prefer a walk on the lighter side of literature - the adventures of the boy wizard will always, always allow me to escape and relax. I still find it very hard to read a book without peeking forward these days. I don't want nasty surprises to leap out on me.
One book which I loved before Emma died - and which I re-read as a direct result of a DBM blog about it, is The Red Tent. I wrote about it here. I still want to live in a red tent with only babylost mothers for company. I still think it is a book that profoundly honours baby loss.
And finally, something I really "enjoyed" - or rather, was captivated by, is the Stig Larsson Millenium trilogy, which I read this summer. Easy prose, very tough on the stomach ideas. I really don't know if I would have enjoyed these books, if I had read them before becoming baby-lost. I suspect I might have found them too disturbing but, since I live with the disturbing fact of baby death every single day, fictional distress doesn't deter me anymore. I have a stronger stomach for it.
3 comments:
I have been curious about the Red Tent for a long time since it was on an almost list for a book club I was in. But a Red Tent of babylost mamas, YES!
Sending you love, so glad you are doing this. I love learning more about everyone. It is so cool.
The Red Tent is a book I've been meaning to read forever, I think you might have finally given me the kick I needed. I love the idea of a red tent for us. x
I'm glad I'm not the only one whose stomach is stronger these days! I read stuff (like the Larsson) now that I would never have contemplated a couple of years ago. You've described it so perfectly, living with that disturbing fact every day makes fictional awfulness that much less terrifying.
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