Day 26

It's half-term, so this is a different week as Dave teaches and it's a holiday for him as well as Ben & Lucy. But, an ordinary week looks like this:

Mon-Fri: We walk to school (hopefully - but rarely - arriving on time). After dropping Ben and Lucy off, Toby and I come home (sometimes via the cemetery). Most of our days are quiet. I just can't do the local Mother and Baby group any more. Too many of the mums were too useless when Emma died. Time enough for that when Toby is actually more aware that hanging with his mum isn't actually the whizz bang he appears to think it is right now. He naps in the morning and I rush around doing jobs (feeding guinea pigs, washing nappies, ironing -yuck, thrice yuck.) except for the days when the nights have been really bad (often, at the moment) when I might just give up and nap too.

At least once a week, my best friend and her little girl come over to hang with us. Most Thursdays, she and I and the babes attend a sling walk at a local park (although, since the weather has turned there's less walking and more cafe haunting).

Toby and I eat lunch together and then play. If he's grumpy, he hangs out on my back in the sling whilst I wash up. Really, wee man could do with a nap around 3 but we're struggling with that right now because we have to collect Ben and Lucy at 3.20 (except Wednesdays, which is after school club and art club).

Home from school, a drink and a snack for the older two (and some TV but no computer which is rationed to weekends), maybe a short nap for Toby. I cook whilst the children play. Dave is back around 5.30pm. We all eat together where possible. Tuesday night is Rainbows for Lucy. Thursday night is Anchor Boys for Ben. Dave does bath time which all the kids adore. I wash up and clean around downstairs. I head back upstairs for stories - normally I'm Lucy's primary story reader but right now, Ben and I are sharing the second Har.ry Pot.ter so I read to him whilst Dave reads to Lucy. Teeth then prayers and lullabies and good nights. I lie down with Toby and feed him to sleep. Sometimes it works! I head downstairs for time with Dave and/or laptop/TV/embroidery. Until recently, Toby would reliably sleep until 11 but, having made the reckless decision to grow 4 teeth at once, this is no longer a given. I fall into bed far later than I should most nights and am up again every couple of hours right now. I'm looking forward to getting some sleep sometime in the future!

Saturday: Ben has trampolining at 10.30 and Lucy has just stopped dancing at 12, which frees up our afternoon a little. We try and keep the afternoons a little bit relaxed (aside from cleaning out the guinea pigs and the obligatory "Do I haaaave to?" from their 6YO owner). Sometimes, we see my parents who live locally. Sometimes we do that on Sunday instead. The kids love their Wii right now so we can often be found dancing round like loons. Saturday tea is usually quick and easy (and sometimes nutritious *blush*).

Sunday: Up for church. Our service has just changed from 9.15 to 10.15, which is a relief for us and makes the morning a little less fraught. It's not always the easiest of times. I don't blog much about my ongoing attempts to integrate my faith with what has happened to us but it's turning out to be a long, slow path and I often feel quite low during church.

Back home for lunch and homework (my least favourite time of the week and the time when I seriously wish I home educated!!) If we're not seeing my parents or doing soft play parties then I do stuff with the kids while Dave does his preparation for the following week. Sunday evenings right now, I catch up with both Saturday and Sunday's "Strictly" on i.pla.yer. Love it.