Mixed feelings.

I don't know where I want to go with this post. I just know I want to write something. It's been a strange few days ... in places painful with the raw hurt I felt back at the beginning of this, without knowing why these days should be like those days. Sometimes, I can point and say, "That's why it hurts". Other times, I simply have to accept with bewildered certainty that the hurt will subside again in time.

And then I read Gal's post at Glow in the Woods. It took me a long time to read because the tears started within a couple of lines. But they were good tears - tears that bring a tiny measure of healing with them and at the end I had one of those moments where my soul breathed a sigh of relief - relief that someone has managed to gift me with something I didn't even know I needed.

Then I logged on to one of my loss forums and a friend who has walked this path so closely with me, announced her pregnancy. I feel pure joy for the possibility that is growing in her right now.

I would like to hang to these moments of peace and joy. I hope that I can.